Automatic
by Rawrbert
Summary: Rikku is facing devastating changes with who she is and how she feels. And who else can she depend on other than Paine? Yet, Rikku will be in for more than a simple change of character. Love and life are full of changes; it's automatic.
1. Normal

_**Author's Note**: I'm back and inspired! I'm actually trying a multi-chapter fic, so warning now to be patient with me. I hope you enjoy and offer me ideas if possible._

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the characters, all are creations by Square Enix.  
><em>

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><p><strong><em>It's automatic, just by being by your side. Just by you looking at me with those eyes. The excitement won't stop. I can't say no. I just can't help it. – "Automatic" by Utada Hikaru.<em>**

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><p>It was hot.<p>

Sweat caused the sheets to cling to her skin. To his skin. It even glued _their_ skin together. Groggy and with an unbelievably awful headache, her braids rustled as she sat up in the semi-darkness, noticing that it was sometime around early morning despite the curtains. Hamsters hammered her brains for memory, a feat that would not be conquered due to her hangover. Piercing pain stabbed at her temples, triggering an acidic reaction within her stomach. It burned, but she knew she had nothing to rid it with.

Her makeup clung to her face and she felt it stick like a mask. It was worse that her sweat also stuck to her body, making her skin stick to herself once she was in a sitting position. Her tummy was sticky, her thighs were sticky, and her breasts made it no better. She groaned quietly to herself, looking over at her partner. He rolled onto his back, a deep scar over his right eye, where it hid behind his eye-patch. In a way, it made him look cute. Beneath the lids, she knew his green and cloudy gray eyes were staring in vivid colors of his dreams and memories. There were scratches on his chest, and she bet they were from the many other women that Gippal involved himself with or his carelessness with his machina.

It explained how he lost his eye after all.

Lifting her hands, Rikku finally attempted to massage out her massive headache. To no avail. The Al Bhed woman emitted another groan, causing the blonde man beside her to stir. Caring less about the noise she made, she glanced over to see his eyelids flutter open. His glowing orbs stared at her for a moment before he smiled a goofy grin and stretched out his naked body. "Hangover?"

"Ugh…" Rikku stood and wobbled a bit before plopping herself back down onto the bed. Then she felt the sheets beneath her rub against bare skin, and she groaned more harshly. She didn't need someone to explain the night to her to really get the gist of it. The explanation was in his bed.

Gippal chuckled at her response and reached for his patch on the small table beside the bed.

"Poor Cid's girl, you shouldn't be getting drunk just because of Yuna. She'll still be your friend."

"Don't call me that. And I am not doing it just because of Yuna," she hissed. It was bad enough that she had a hangover, but a morning after with Gippal only intensified her pain. Not only that, but he seemed to have hit the nail on the head. "How do you know any of that anyways?"

"You really don't remember a lot of last night do you? A shame actually, it was quite fun."

His laughter echoed off the walls inside her skull, causing Rikku to groan and bury her head into her hands. It was true, she couldn't remember anything from the night before, it was all in a haze. All that she could remember was the shock she felt from seeing Tidus appear from Besaid's waters after their return. All of Spira was celebrating, especially Yuna. That night, Besaid held a welcome party, and a celebration for the continuation of the Calm.

She couldn't stand it.

So, with little words said to Paine and Yuna, she happily pretended that she was going back Home to celebrate.  
>Though really she only wanted to rid herself of the oncoming depression. The reality that hit her and the disgust she held for herself wrapped her into a state of self-hatred and denial.<p>

Rikku was just like Brother. She had unknowingly fallen in love with Yuna, was completely blindsided. Which made sense, Yuna was extremely beautiful, strong and kind, an ideal woman who waited for her long lost lover, devoted as ever to not only love, but to hope. To a cousin, of course she would admire her right? So why was she jealous once she saw Tidus and Yuna embrace?

She was _devastated_. Emotions rampaged within her, fought to be happy or outright jealous and anxious. Not only did she struggle with her composure, but she lost a grasp on her identity. She wanted to find it again. That road led her to Bikanel Desert and booze to block out the unhappiness. Sure, it was unlike her, but she bet that even Baralai was sharing a few drinks for himself. However, after she had arrived with Brother, Rikku couldn't really remember events beyond saying hello to her old man Cid and toasting to newfound joy.

"Do you have—oh." Before she could request aid, Gippal had already slipped on pants and obtained Elixir from a cabinet while Rikku was struggling with her new realizations and reflections. She gratefully accepted and knocked back the healing item. Instantly she felt the hamsters return to their wheels. Already she could think better and remembered that she did have way too many drinks. That she was agreeing with Brother at his anger towards Tidus' return, and that she wanted to feel like a normal girl and targeted Gippal to help her with just that.

There was nothing wrong with her; she wasn't _really_ in love with Yuna. She fell in love with her character and shining inspiration, not her beautiful eyes…or legs…or her curves… or that chest of hers. Rikku emitted another groan until she got a knock on her forehead and was greeted by a close-up of Gippal.

"Have you been listening to a thing I've said?"

Rikku stared at him blankly, noticing that her acidic reaction had also disappeared; she no longer felt like she was going to upchuck shots from the night before. She felt rather normal, finally. She really was normal after all.

Right?

"I'm sorry, I'm still dealing with the hangover."  
>"I can see that, though my Elixirs work pretty well. You'll feel better in no time." With another goofy grin, Gippal turned around and retrieved Rikku's belongings and offered her a towel as well. "Brother told me that he was leaving sometime around mid-morning last night before he drank himself to death. I figured you'd like to clean up before you take off with him?"<p>

Rikku continued to stare at Gippal blankly. She was staring at his green eyes, trying to see herself in them. Then her gaze wandered to his light stubble that was appearing on his usually clean-shaven face. His adam's apple did not bob as he was staring at her in confusion, though she was becoming familiar with his masculinity. His muscular chest and arms, his broad shoulders and thick neck; they all made her feel…uncomfortable.

"Wanna go for round two?"

She shoved him away, "Keep dreaming." Rikku smiled as she saw his pout and flipped her loose and frayed braids behind her. "But thanks for the shower."

"No problem, Cid's girl."

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><p>During her soothing shower, Rikku regained her composure, and somewhat of her usual bubbly behavior. She forced herself to forget about most of the past night. She told herself that her feelings for Yuna were normal, sisterly. She wasn't a pervert, and even if she was, isn't she at the age where she felt experimental? Wasn't that normal?<p>

She would have to tackle this from a different angle. But she couldn't confide her feelings for Yuna in anybody… Wait.

Her spiral, emerald eyes grew to the size of saucers, or a galaxy. She told Gippal, didn't she?

Panic began to consume her. The pounding of the shower water was becoming too much for her, she could hardly breathe through the hot steam forming, she needed to ask him right away about the night before. What did she tell him? How much did she tell him? How did he react? Exactly what happened? Did she say anything else when she was moping with Brother?

As quick as lightning, as afraid of it as she was, Rikku dressed and whipped herself back into beautiful shape. Her signature scarf had returned to her neck, boots back on her feet, headband held back her tightly braided hair to expose her shining smile, and her bikini had returned to hug its seductive owner, hiding her treasures.

Returning to her somewhat bubbly self, she stepped in stride towards the kitchen, where she found Gippal fully clothed and making some sort of peasant breakfast common in Bikanel Desert.

"Gippal," she nearly sang. He turned around and grinned at her.

"Well you sure know how to clean up don't you? Brother dropped by and told you to hurry and shower. He went to visit Cid and is going to check on the Celsius before you guys leave."

Rikku merely nodded as she watched him cook. "Of course, he probably went to complain to him about Yuna." It was as if acid burnt her tongue at the thought of it. She felt her stomach churn a bit, but her expression never wavered. "Anyways, Gippal, when I was talking to you last night…What exactly did I tell you?"

The thief's expression was playful, yet she wasn't trying to portray sexual interest. Rikku tried to convey genuine curiosity.

Her portrayal flew right over Gippal's head. His eyes shifted to her, and roved over her body before he offered a suggestive smile. "Why don't you just tell me, don't you remember?"

The Al Bhed woman stared at him and wondered whether she should speak to him in a different tone to convey her sincerity about the matter or if he would let up on the flirting if she played off his attempts at another round. She went with the latter.

"Oh come on Gippal, really, tell me."

"Well… You were speaking pretty dirty." His charming smile began to irritate her.

"E sayh ed Gippal, E tuh'd nasaspan yhodrehk. Damm sa."

Her curt response, in Al Bhed no less, surprised Gippal. It finally dawned on him that she was being serious. He cleared his throat out of a small amount of fear and sighed before he answered, "Oui fana nyspmehk ypuid Yuna. Yht ruf Oihy fyc paehk cdumah vnus oui po Tidus." The man paused before he continued, "I didn't really understand it. But I could kind of see it from your side. I would be hurt too if my best friend would leave the Gullwings after all we worked for." He balanced on his one leg scratching his cheek.

Relief seemed to waft throughout the thief. So she didn't say anything conspicuous to Gippal. And thank goodness for that. After hearing her necessary response, she offered him a huge smile.

"Well thanks, I couldn't remember what I had said. So I'm assuming you nurtured my soul, eh?" Rikku's tone was on the verge of sarcasm, and it was such a change that Gippal raised the only eyebrow he could.

"You okay, Cid's girl? Need another Elixir?"

"No, I'm about as fine as fine can get. I'll see you next time Gippal."

Rikku sauntered out of the hut that belonged to Gippal, feeling revitalized. Her secret was kept safe. Now she just needed to find a way to cope with it. Denial was getting her nowhere, but it kept her from the bad influences.

_Maybe training can help me sweat out the denial…_ She knew the one person she could depend on.

"Brother! We're heading to Besaid right?"

The tattooed man nodded as he heard his younger sister stroll up behind him, her boots clanging on the metal ground that was the Celsius. He grumbled softly, "Unfortunately, yes. I have to see my beloved with another man, and it kills me." Brother glanced at the box near Shinra's work station. "Luckily Shinra won't be back with Buddy for a few days… I brought extra alcohol."

Rikku shook her head, her braids rustling and brushing along her back.

"Well good, because I have someone I need to talk to."

"We're taking off right now!"

The young thief smiled to herself. _Paine will help me get through this rough time. I _am_ normal after all. _

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><p><em>Translations: <em>

**Rikku:** I mean it Gippal, I don't remember anything. Tell me.

**Gippal: **You were rambling about Yuna. And how Yuna was being stolen from you by Tidus.

_Trust me, this will not be a RikkuxGippal fic. I thought long and hard about this story so it's sure to be filled with drama. But I am very pro RikkuxPaine. _


	2. Not Normal

The sand dispersed in thousands of ways as the air of the Celsius forced downward near the docks. Small waves splashed towards the beach and, finally, Rikku began to feel more confident in herself.

Her mantra the entire ride to Besaid involved being normal. _She is normal. I am normal. Yuna is normal. I am normal, too!_

The thief scampered down the docks, more ready than ever to talk to cold-stoned Paine. She left Brother in the dust while she raced across the sand of the beach and made her way up the short trail that led to the village. Mentally preparing herself for anything, she tried to focus more on her current mission at hand: to see Paine. But lost in her thoughts and not completely watching where she was going…

"Owwie!" Rikku was knocked back onto her rear, bruising it. Red eyes stared down at her with an irritated look. The older woman's hair was gelled back, albeit it seemed just a bit shorter than usual. It shined beneath the comfortable sun that usually settled on Besaid. Paine was clad in her usual warrior outfit, her sword missing, however. She continued to glare at the Al Bhed before she offered an ungloved hand towards her.

Rikku accepted the offer and huffed herself back up. Yet, she continued to hold onto Paine's hand and stare at it. Then she stared back into Paine's eyes with a question.

"What happened?"

Paine pulled back her own hand and sighed irritatedly with the intention to ignore Rikku, but she decided to let it go. "Last night was a little chaotic. The Aurochs had a lot to drink, since everyone was celebrating your friend's return. Yuna and he were having fun up until there was a small brawl. Lulu and I tried to break it up, but when she used Fire to scare them apart… She got the top of my hair."

Rikku stared at the warrior in disbelief… and then burst into loud, raucous laughter. It was enough to make her stomach hurt, and her tear ducts work. Then she got a blow over the head which knocked back her laughter. Tears still streamed down and she continued to giggle behind her hand while she straightened herself out.

"That explains the trim. It doesn't look bad though," the thief commented while she reached out to feel the tips of Paine's new hairstyle. It was exactly the same, just a tad shorter after all. She liked it like that. The warrior merely stared at the little Al Bhed with slight venom in her stare. She didn't want to be embarrassed again, but that was inevitable with Rikku. She always found a way to laugh and tease.

"Yeah. That's what happened. So Barkeep helped us enchant the drinks to make all of them fall asleep. Even Wakka was getting a bit out of hand and it was bothering Vidina." Rikku only giggled in response again. She could imagine Wakka being over celebrative and trying to get Vidina to be excited. She wondered how Lulu handled him.

"And your gloves?"

Red eyes rolled, "I lost them in the fire."

The blonde laughed all over again and this time, it made Paine smile softly before she returned to her stoic expression. Her brows knitted together as she assessed Rikku. Something was just a bit off…

"So where did you sleep last night?"

The warrior noticed Rikku tense a bit. It semi-confirmed her suspicions that something happened. Rikku's shoulders slumped, and she began to kick the dirt.

"I slept in the desert…!"

"_Where_ in the desert?"

Spiral eyes averted towards the ground, and the thief spun so that Paine was facing her back. "Oh you know, in the sand somewhere…"

Paine sighed and decided not to press further. Brushing past her, she headed towards the beach with its fallen stones and calming waves. Rikku stared after her until she disappeared around the corner. _Can I trust Paine with this secret? She doesn't have a loud mouth like Gippal…_

Pondering, the Al Bhed turned around and entered into the village.

Rikku waved to all of the Aurochs, seeing that they suffered a brutal morning just like she had. They would slightly nod or offer a simple wave with a smile and return to their strained expression as they went about their business.

Her heart began to pound once she stood outside of Yuna's new little home, her own sort of hut. This time she wanted to prove to herself that she was normal. She would be able to sit in the same room as the couple and not feel a darn thing, because she was normal. Swallowing her bubbling anxiety and chanting her mantra, _I'm normal, I'm normal_, Rikku loudly greeted her cousin as she stepped in.

"Yunie! He—" Her face flushed as she watched Yuna and Tidus part in a panic. The ex-summoner was semi-clothed, her hair obviously ruffled, and Tidus hid himself with the blanket that Yuna had cuddled herself in. His chest was exposed, and his cheeks were painted red from fright and embarrassment. Rikku's jaw dropped and her body froze. She felt the heat trickle from her head down her spine. But her body was not the only thing that froze, her eyes had fixated themselves on Yuna's flushed face. Her cousin's eyes were half-lidded before they had widened themselves, but the look had shimmered in her eyes, the feeling of pleasure and happiness. A feeling she wanted to give her…

Before Yuna could say a word, she fled from the home, her face hot with sweat beginning to form droplets on her forehead. Her sprint couldn't stop her tears though, as jealousy, anger, and utter confusion began to flood through her being.

_I'm not normal after all. _

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><p>Paine merely stared at the many grains of sand while she sat closely beside the heaving, whimpering Al Bhed. She had explained her confusion, her denial, jealousy and rage towards her realizations. Rikku had told her the entire story and how she went back to Bikanel Desert to avoid the pain. Had told her the morning after and what she saw while she tried to visit Yuna to convince herself that everything would return to normal.<p>

The warrior felt very sympathetic towards Rikku. She'd never seen the bubbly, hyper-active ball that is Rikku fall apart the way that she did now. Not only that, but Rikku had become one of her closest friends, and she really had no way to comfort her in a way that she knew how.

Maybe she'd try to be different.

Rikku felt the cool touch that Paine offered to comfort her as she sobbed. Her body wracked with emotions, painful and confusing emotions. It bubbled up and she could no longer keep it in, she had to trust Paine to keep her secret.

She _needed_ someone to trust.

The little thief leaned into Paine's touch, sobbing herself into the warrior's arms. She paid no mind to the uncomfortable position, she just needed some kind of reassurance that she would be all right; that she was somewhat normal. Now she was facing new obstacles and questions.

She was in love with her cousin, and now has to detach her feelings to recover their close friendship.

Did this mean she was a Lesbian?

Did this explain her lack of attention towards men during her journeys?

Rikku felt as if her identity had been stripped of her, that she wasn't that flamboyant, happy-go-lucky, straight girl anymore. She felt more like she was a struggling, depressed girl finding herself in Spira.

And she was.

Paine's red eyes watched the blonde shake and shudder and whimper until finally she softened to harsh breathing. Her bare fingers ran through Rikku's hair, playing with her braids as she thought to herself. In this moment, where she normally would have abandoned the problem, she decided that Rikku needed a real friend and had to guide her through this. Despite her lack of experience in the department of healing, she was a warrior and would fight head-on if it meant that Rikku would return to her annoying, bubbly self.

Rikku finally lifted her head and stared at Paine. Met with full attention and a glimpse of full understanding, Rikku thoughtlessly wrapped her arms around Paine's neck. She noticed her friend's discomfort but continued to act selfishly and shamelessly. After all, this was a proper way to thank a good friend—with a hug. Pulling away, with her arms still wrapped tiredly around Paine, she gazed into her eyes. They were unsure, hesitant yet powerful. Filled with an unrelenting stubbornness to help, self-sacrifice.

It made tears roll down her eyes as she almost broke down again.

"Paine…" The warrior's expression had softened incredibly while she closely watched as Rikku battled with her urge to cry. Her arm was awkwardly wrapped around Rikku, loosely, to provide her support and understanding while her other arm propped them both up. Their closeness almost made her want to knock back Rikku, but this time she couldn't allow her reclusive side to be selfish.

"Yeah?"

"I don't know who I am anymore…" Rikku's voice cracked as she buried her face into Paine's chest.

Her friend sighed and finally wrapped her arms closely around the sobbing Rikku. She murmured soft comforting words.

"You're Rikku, you'll always be Rikku."


	3. Confident

**Author's Note:**_ So while writing this, I was listening to _Besaid _from the FFX-2 OST. I felt like it fit, and it definitely got me into writing the chapter. Enjoy._

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><p>Lost in a deserted area within Besaid, Rikku had fallen asleep in Paine's arms. The warrior figured that Yuna and Tidus would be searching for Rikku soon, and Brother was nowhere to be found when she had gone to find him. Paine decided that she'd make an effort for Rikku and take her to a place where she wouldn't be bothered. Yuna would definitely come to the Celsius or even to Lulu and Wakka's hut.<p>

At least here, beside an outlet of water snuggled away in the forests of Besaid, Rikku could have time to cry her little eyes out or recollect herself and begin the process of healing and growing into her new identity. Paine hated to admit it, but being near Rikku made her want to reach out, to be intimate with the thief to make her forget. Forgetting is what Rikku needed to be doing right now. Tucked away in the safety of her dreams, hopefully, were doing just that.

But maybe Paine's reaction was only because Rikku's confusion and pain was far greater than she could deal with. She felt as though she should offer affection, but that would only confuse the young Al Bhed even more. As a loyal friend, she would not. She would lend a hand to Rikku and rid her of her blindfold and hopefully, _hopefully_, she could find newfound confidence. That's what she deserved after all of the change that she was facing.

Sadly, Paine had to stand by and let Rikku figure this out all on her own. Beneath the only blanket that she was able to sneak out, Paine stared at the stars with the Al Bhed sleeping soundly. They danced and twinkled above a black blanket, reflecting themselves off of the water to the side of them. A soft trickling could be heard, their lullaby. The atmosphere was peaceful, and this is what Rikku needed. Looking down, Paine noticed that her face was stained with salty tears, marked a bit with some makeup. The silverette also noticed that bags were underneath Rikku's eyes as well, and it caused her to sigh. She wished nothing more than for the thief to return to normal.

But that was impossible now. She may never be the _same_ Rikku as before, but she would always be _Rikku_, everchanging. Maybe Rikku would realize that as she grew older.

A small sound emitted from the thief as she shifted closer to Paine. Perhaps it was the fact that Rikku was unconscious that the warrior wasn't as tense now compared to earlier in the day. Maybe it was because this was Rikku's time of need. Or maybe…

"Yuna…"

The warrior stared as she watched the thief's pink lips move, voicing the object of her affection. Paine sighed; this would be a long week for her. Maybe she should plan some sparring for the next day. That would help Rikku begin her healing. The Al Bhed had to harden herself a bit more, learn to grow. She would be able to do it. If Rikku allowed herself to move on, that is. And from the sound of it, it didn't seem like she was. But it was only the first day.

A hand reached out to her hip. Crimson eyes widened as she felt Rikku reach to unbuckle her belt. The fingertips of the thief grazed against her skin, causing goosebumps to rise. Anger and panic bubbled within the warrior until she realized that Rikku was still asleep. Surprised, she leaned forward to investigate.

"Rikku?"

"Oh yes…" The thief breathlessly murmured, her thigh brushing against Paine's. The warrior still did not know what to do. The young Al Bhed before her was sleeping, and there was no way that she would wake her up only to tell her what she did wrong, that would devastate her even more. But as it was, Rikku was getting uncomfortably close to Paine's dismay.

Her breath was caught in her throat as the Al Bhed leaned forward and kissed Paine's cheek. Rikku's tender lips felt extremely soft, but they moved and as they did, she soon felt a wetness. It caused Paine's cheeks to flare with intense heat. As she felt the thief's tongue move, however…

She couldn't take it anymore.

"Ahhhh-heeemmmm!"

Rikku was awoken from her deep slumber while Paine attempted to move a bit away from Rikku and forced herself to hide the flaring blush that had appeared in her uncomfortable embarrassment. Emerald spirals blinked as she stared into the crimson depths before her. Swallowing hard, she blinked and then stared down between them.

"Uhh?" Rikku looked up questioningly at Paine before she fully awoke.

"_Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"_ She rolled around, pushing herself away from Paine and _SPLASH!_

Rikku landed into the water. Paine, alarmed, leaned up on her elbows. Rikku rose and spouted the water from her mouth, looking like a fountain. The water glistened upon her tanned skin, her braids and the rest of her hair matting on her forehead and drooping. She looked like an angry kitten.

Paine burst into amused laughter, surprising herself and Rikku. However, listening to the melodic chiming, Rikku decided to join with her own harmony. Beneath the moonlight, the two friends laughed away all worry and tension.

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><p>"Thanks for not freaking out Dr. P."<p>

"Why would I?" the stoic warrior responded. Paine offered a sideway glance towards Rikku with a soft smile on her lips. She was far more relaxed than before, and it was because Rikku had finally crossed that bridge: acceptance. Now all that was left was dodging buttons while she attempted to regain a hold on their friendship. Paine could handle that.

The Al Bhed grinned and nudged Paine with her elbow. Surrounding the two was the warmth of the blanket they shared as they sat together and the small fire before them. The night air finally began to get chilly. The last thing that Paine needed was a coughing and sneezing Rikku. So, the blaze before them danced, crackled and popped with its intense heat. Rikku was dried now and looked semi-normal except for the fact that her hair was frazzled.

"Have you asked Brother when we're leaving…?" Rikku's voice was just above a whisper as she stared at Paine, hope deep within the spirals. A frown spread across deep pink lips as Paine softly shook her head.

"No, but he needs to get Buddy and Shinra tomorrow. So I'll seek him out early in the morning. You can stay here if you'd like." Paine smiled reassuringly at Rikku, which caused the blonde to giggle.

"I bet I know where he is," she sighed with amusement. The warrior raised an eyebrow.

"He probably stinks like a drunken Tonberry in the engine room of the Celsius."

This made Paine join in the thief's chuckling. "That explains why I couldn't find him."

Hair brushed against Paine's shoulder which made her bristle for a moment. Fire danced within Rikku's spirals, a soft smile splayed across her lips. Her entire body was relaxed due to warmth and from Paine's support. She accepted who she was becoming. It didn't mean that she wasn't the same flamboyant Rikku that she had always been. She didn't have to tell the whole world, and if the time came where she had to admit it all over again when she found love, she could do it with shaky confidence. Shaky, but with confidence no less.

The warrior stared down at the thief who was using her as a pillow and a support pillar. Relief seemed to put her at ease now that Rikku was in a far better mood than hours before. This made her smile to herself as she and the thief watched the sultry dance of the fire.

"Thank you, Paine."

"Anytime, meddma dreav."

The sun would soon shine upon the black pit and the two women, snuggled within the blanket together.

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><p><em>Translations:<em>

**Paine: **little thief.


	4. No More Gloves

**_Author's Note: _**_Mmm...I can't say I was extremely excited about this chapter though readers may disagree? I struggled with their personalities so this was definitely a challenge, however inevitable it was. _Especially _Paine's inner struggle. So, please critique Paine more so; I continue to have a hard time developing her feelings. But please, enjoy._

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><p>About a week had passed since Rikku's devastating trip to Besaid. The blonde had not returned since, and despite Yuna's attempt to sphere-comm her, she'd ignored all calls. Paine had truly supported her choice to avoid Yuna. The silverette was usually the one to answer and explain to Yuna that their thief was only busy and to not take it so harshly. Rikku was a working Gullwing, unlike Yuna now.<p>

The ex-summoner would force herself to feel better, but her intuition still nudged at her. She knew something was wrong, but if the stoic warrior said nothing was wrong, then nothing should be wrong, right?

Now, Rikku and Paine were lost somewhere within Macalania Woods, beside a small spring. They had decided to escape the dull atmosphere of the cabin on the Celsius and train in within the enchanted woods. The fiends were strong, necessary for an effective training session. Hours after, the pair decided to break and stumbled across a small spring, one of only a few scattered within.

"You know, we stopped here in Macalania during Yuna's pilgrimage…" The thief's words were soft as she played with the water before her. Emerald eyes stared intensely as she cupped the clear blue then slowly allowed it to waterfall between her fingers.

"Rikku…"

"Ah, don't worry Dr. P. I'm getting over her. Slowly, but I am," the blonde reassured the warrior. The protection that she felt from her loyal friend made her smile. Paine made her feel more comfortable about her whole situation and her heartbreak. It was true what she said, she was finally getting over the ex-summoner. Yet, hearing Paine jump at the fact that Rikku might break down from a memory made her heart skip a beat.

Upon hearing Rikku's words, Paine relaxed. A soft smile crept along her lips as she stared at blue crystals that sparkled across the water. The beauty of it never ceased to surprise the warrior, as the shimmering crystals and blue aura completely enveloped the area. Nature had such a power to make herself attractive. Her crimson gaze continued to analyze her setting before she curiously dipped her hand into the water. A question passed through her lips.

"What made you think of Yuna?"

Rikku's nearly distant gaze soon morphed itself into a slight scowl. Her chest puffed out, as well as her sigh. Her body shifted, the cold blocked by the small blanket draped over her shoulders, coupled with her gradient scarf. Her fingers gripped it closer around her body.

"Yunie and Tidus had their first kiss here, in these woods."

The warrior blinked her crimson gaze before she stared back into the water, casted in a bright blow. She swallowed hard. Before she could open her mouth though, the thief continued.

"It wasn't in this area though. But the spring is similar." Rikku's eyes seemed to flicker back to normal, a soul returning in its stare. She glanced at Paine with a strained smile. "It's funny though, I'm not as hurt as I thought I would be."

The warrior raised an eyebrow.  
>"Why would you come to a place that holds a bad memory?" She repositioned herself, feeling the dirt beneath her palm and fingertips. It felt almost foreign to her. She liked the feel of its essence, something she couldn't experience with her gloves. Maybe she'd ditch them. Just maybe.<p>

A shrug was evident beneath the blanket as emerald eyes clashed with the heavenly blue glow. The dim light seemed to sparkle across Rikku's tanned body and Paine nearly stared in awe unbeknownst to the thief. It was the way that tears settled on the corners of Rikku's eyes that made her almost angelic, how the glow seemed to wash over her unnoticed beauty, and her emerald eyes burned into the blue, fighting for composure.

Paine lost her breath. The vulnerability of the usual happy-go-lucky thief made her stunning.

Rikku seemed to curl into herself as she wrapped the blanket closer to herself, her body becoming a bit colder, and she began to shake. Yet, it wasn't because of the still, cold air, or the fact that she was covered in skimpy clothing, no; it was because of her sadness.

Paine regained her senses and noticed the shaking thief. Her body stayed still as she simply watched the younger girl. A soft pattering hit the water in front of them as it softly motioned to and fro from the middle of the spring to the land. The warrior heard the soft gasps that Rikku managed to suck in as she held back her hurt. The thief was right; she was _slowly_ getting over Yuna.

A pale blue hand reached to warm the tanned blue beside her. The warrior came close as she felt the need to hug Rikku, to hold her together, to have her continue fighting against that broken feeling. The thief leaned into her body whole-heartedly, desperately needing air—oxygen from the creeping hurt ready to reopen healing wounds.

Paine kept her arms wrapped around Rikku, unsure of what had washed over her. She nuzzled her nose into Rikku's braids while the blonde wept silently, her body wracking for confidence and stability. It caused Paine's heart to ache; she was tired of seeing Rikku suffer by herself. What was a warrior if she did not have the ability to protect? And how could a _thief's_ heart be stolen right under its nose? Silver hair fell forward to meet golden locks as suddenly the shaking ceased.

Steady arms reached from beneath the blanket and its hands found solace upon Paine's shoulders. Crimson eyes stared, confused, down at the younger girl as emerald spirals locked with its opposite. Desperation for release shimmered. Paine's hold had loosened, while hesitant arms slowly became stronger as it swiftly wrapped themselves around the warrior's neck.

No training could have prepared her.

Warmth invaded her space. It drowned her. Contact made her hair stand up as she clumsily attempted to prepare for the impact. Hands froze in place, hovering above the blanket-clad thief as she did what she did best.

Rikku stole Paine's lips into a tightly sealed, hungry kiss. Their clash caused sparks as warrior and thief enamored themselves with their new necessity: closeness. The older woman lost all memory of how to breathe, how to react, and how to move. Anger swept through her, confusion, and then it dawned on her.

She seemed to notice while Rikku wrapped her fingers within the threads of Paine's hair, gripping it as she added more pressure against her savior. The warrior slowly felt herself fall onto her back as Rikku hungrily searched for compassion and solace. She found it in Paine's yearning kisses along her face, kissing away the streaks from her tears, tasting the salt and the sweetness of Rikku's skin. The blanket slipped away, exposing Rikku's barely-clad body once more. Intensity drove them together, stuck like glue. Their stomachs were pressed upon one another as Rikku's breasts lay heavily against Paine's. The warrior's jaw felt the closing heat of Rikku's shoulders as their sultry dance ensued, tongues making an appearance.

Paine had found solace in Rikku. She found a refuge away from her own loneliness.

A gasp broke through the warrior's hazed concentration, and her crimson eyes blinked wide open as she noticed a bit of saliva on the corner of Rikku's lips as she had abruptly paused for needed air. Her emerald eyes were glazed, unsure of what had happened until she gave into lust once more. Pink lips dove for another round until Paine's mind began to crank its gears.

"Rikku, wait." Her voice was stern and clear. No evidence of a rasp or anything of the sort. Her tone meant business. "We can't."

Anger and betrayal flickered through the spirals before it sank and drown into sadness. Tears of hurt blinked into the thief's eyes. She detangled her masterful fingers from Paine's hair and attempted to tear herself away until warm hands held her by her waist to make her stay still.

Rikku's braids fell around Paine face, gently scratching against her cheek. Her crimson depths stared into spiral pools that held question.

"Not because I don't want to…" she whispered softly as she stared at the thief. Blushing furiously, partly in anger of feeling herself exposed and vulnerable, Paine averted her gaze to the blue glow of the crystals settled upon the spring. "But we should figure out how we really feel instead of acting in desperation." It killed her to admit it… but did Rikku _really _feel anything for the warrior besides an ally in her journey to free her mind of Yuna?

Not only that, but Paine couldn't allow her emotions to sweep her off her feet, she needed them grounded. She needed to be prepared for anything as a warrior. She _needed_ sincerity and stability just as much as Rikku needed a clear mind.

Breathing softly, Rikku nodded quietly to Paine.

"I'm sorry I… acted without thought, Paine," she whispered. A slight smile graced her gently bruised lips. _So no punishment?_ It relieved her. Paine didn't act out of anger, she didn't reject her or turned tail to abandon her.

No, she only reassured her new blossoming feelings.

"Won't happen again Dr. P…" This time, she spoke a bit louder as she sat up, noticing the fleeting ghost of the warrior's fingertips. She offered a small smile as she wiped some remaining tears away. Paine took the opportunity to sit up as well, beside the thief once more, keeping her gaze towards the water. This time it was different.

Nature was not only beautiful, but it seemed to work in a mysterious way. Paine begged some entity that she would not have to brace herself for hurt… she had been in longing for far too long it seemed. How she would handle it, she wasn't sure. But if Rikku only acted out in anguish, then she had to remain indifferent rather than let her feelings attach themselves.

Her heart could not handle a miscarriage should Rikku reject or use her.

Somewhere along their paths, Paine's collided heavily with Rikku's without noticing the intensity of the impact.

Maybe she'd explain her admiration for the thief sometime along the way, should their paths reconstruct and merge into one.

Warriors are never too hopeful.

"Ready to return to the Celsius?" the leather-clad woman asked, standing and stretching, still gazing into the blue glow of the water.

The thief looked up and smiled softly as she nodded.

"Yeah, I'm real sleepy now. Gots lots to think about."

Paine merely glanced at her friend and offered an ungloved hand towards her. She wouldn't question the thief, she'd simply allow her to get her bearings on what she really wanted. With a nod and a smirk, Paine helped Rikku to her feet and allowed one final gaze into the water.

"Maybe I'll ditch the gloves," she mumbled to herself as Rikku stalked towards the airship.

The warmth of Rikku's hand still burned within her palm.


	5. The Outlet

_**Author's Note: **I always told myself that if I started a multi-chapter fic on , I would not allow myself to procrastinate. Of course, I told myself that in the summer when I didn't have to worry about scholarship and college applications. I hardly have time to actually enjoy Fanfiction anymore. However, I found some time today and told myself to crank out a chapter for the readers. Thank you guys for being patient with me. _

Side Note: _Have you guys ever just stared at the document once you opened it up on your computer? Worst. Feeling. Ever. _

_Enjoy._

* * *

><p>Well, Rikku had made up her mind. She was finally going to go through with her decision… Paine (she ditched the gloves after all) could see the determination in the emerald, spiral eyes.<p>

"I'll keep ignoring her."

Paine brought her fingers to her face, rubbing the bridge of her nose, irritated. That one…well, no one could have prepared Paine for that one.

"Rikku, it's been almost three weeks since you've even spoken to Yuna. We haven't even flown _near_ Besaid. Didn't you say you were finally over her? That your heart 'has mended entirely, no one can steal a thief's heart, not even Yunie!'?" Crimson eyes bore deep into Rikku's depths.

A smirk was all she received.

"And? Dr. P, don't you know the game of Love?" The Al Bhed sprung from the bed, animating her small scenario. "When someone doesn't realize that they want you…they will shortly after you ignore them, and the more that you ignore them, they'll come crawling back to you!" Her fist shot into the air as if she had won some victory.

A brow was raised by the warrior…followed by an annoyed facepalm.

"Rikku," she growled.

"I was only kidding, party-pooper." The thief sighed and pouted, finding that her joke wasn't very funny to the stoic warrior, her beloved friend.

"But you know," she returned to sitting beside Paine. The leather-clad silverette glanced at Rikku, finding the atmosphere take a turn for the better, in her mind anyways. "I do feel like I can talk to Yunie again. I am over her, Paine. I have you to thank!"

She pointed at her knee, "Despite the fact I got bruised during the sparring and fighting fiends." A playful glare was shot at Paine, which was received with a brief, and smug, smile.

"You should be careful with the way you kick. You're lucky I turned my blade in time for you to smack against it, rather than cut into it." Her voice oozed with her own humor, which Rikku was beginning to find attractive.

Within the last two or so weeks, Rikku's heart really had mended. She didn't think about Yuna at all anymore, but rather her thoughts had shifted… to Paine. It was hard to stay still at night, to stay quiet and not feel the urge to find a reason to be close to the warrior and talk to her. The older woman soothed her. Her friendship was deeply appreciated, yet now… so would contact. Paine had rid herself of her gloves and finally Rikku could shiver at the softness that was Paine. Their sparring was delightful to the thief. Not only because it was a way to relieve her stress and…hyper-active emotions, but also a way to find closeness with Paine.

It was something they both enjoyed, although she felt that Paine thought differently. The warrior was only her friend, a warrior in her time of need.

The blonde thought back on their kiss as she noticed Paine stand up, realizing that she was lost within her own thoughts. Rikku had felt horribly embarrassed as they had returned to the Celsius and after a long time of thinking, she realized what she did was wrong. She had still been hung up on Yuna, and it was not fair to Paine to have used her the way she did. Even she was mature enough to acknowledge that.

Besides, was Paine _weird_ like her? She liked being the oddball of the group, she was the comic relief! Yet, she was still adjusting to her new lifestyle, thoughts and feelings. Rikku figured that she'd call herself weird rather than not normal, because everyone was a little weird, right?

Brother would have called her weird for sure, and the thought made her giggle.

"Now she's laughing to herself…" A flat voice seemed to bring Rikku back to Spira as she noticed Paine saunter away, most likely to the solace of her favorite place, the roof of the Celsius.

"I thought of something funny! Bully!"

* * *

><p>The warrior closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun upon her body. Though she preferred the hot sauna that was the engine room, she needed something to calm herself down just a bit. Something was terribly wrong with the warrior. A sigh escaped her lips as she noticed a Shoopuf in the clouds.<p>

Solitary confinement, though no one forced this upon her, was beginning to rear its ugly head. The warrior chose this path so she would never find distractions in her life, no drama—she steered clear away from all of that. Yet now…now all she wanted was to feel warmth and flesh near her, upon her, everywhere beside her. The sheer want became overwhelming. She couldn't fight this battle much longer despite her trainings.

Paine needed comfort in passion. Following the Shoopuf was a Hypello, though oddly fat. A brief smile graced the warrior's lips. Thoughts continued to whirl within her mind. The silverette was always strange, that was a given, but she had already faced everything that Rikku was experiencing.

The thief just didn't know that little secret yet.

But it never occurred to the warrior that an opportunity would present itself where, maybe, she could finally sheath her blade and try her hand at being _normal_. It's not like she ever wanted to be the person she was. It just…_happened_. If she could have changed it, maybe she'd have changed the dynamics of the Gullwings. She would talk more; she wouldn't hide herself in the shadows and be that big, tough warrior that everyone thought she was.

Paine never asked for it, but everything just _happens_. Unlike others, she reasoned, years ago, that everything came together for a reason, a machine working automatically, arranging puzzle pieces together wherever they fell in place.

Another sigh escaped her as she closed her eyes. Would she allow herself to bring down the defense she had built up for so many years that was meant to avoid hurt from confusion? She'd been there with Rikku and seeing her feeling the same made her almost nostalgic. She nestled those feelings.

Yet the urge… Paine could not fathom how strong it was within her. She needed some kind of warmth near her, as she had once before but innocently ignored. The feelings from the kiss rekindled a fire within her that she thought she'd put out. A sigh turned into a near growl.

This was confusing her all over again. How would she control herself if she ever let down her guard? Rikku was a _thief_ after all, known for being sneaky and cunning. It wouldn't be hard for the thief to catch Paine by total surprise. However, that wasn't the problem for Paine, she admitted. She knew her reaction to when that time came, if ever. Opening her eyes, she found green spirals and braided, golden locks dangling in front of her.

One blink.

Two blink.

A fist swung out, which was greeted by a swift dodge and a backflip.

"You never said you were going to leave me for a while! I thought you left somewhere, I didn't know you actually tried to tan!"

A glare was pointedly directed at Rikku.

"I cannot tan."

"That's why I'm wondering why you're trying!"

Silver scraped across the Celsius as Paine stood. The warrior was frustrated with her thoughts. She couldn't handle this anymore.

"How 'bout we spar?"

"Again, Paine? Don't you want to do something else?" Rikku's voice lilted a bit higher as she spoke, almost flirtingly. This was no surprise to Paine, Rikku used to do this before. Yet now it was almost nerve-wracking. It made her feel like a teenager. _Does__ she __like__ me?_

A roar ripped through her throat as she swung forward, eager to rid herself of her thoughts, to maintain that ounce of stability she had built for herself. Rikku's green eyes grew wide as she noticed the silver slice through the air and dodged the swing. She really didn't want to do this right now so she flipped and ran towards Paine.

The warrior growled as she brought down her sword again, noticing that Rikku wasn't going to deter from her path. Teeth gritted against each other as the sword stopped just above her neck. A grin greeted the warrior as Rikku's body was leaned over just a bit, in case Paine wouldn't have been able to stop.

But she was not tense. She knew Paine enough. The warrior was definitely in tune with her weapon.

"I figured you'd stop."

Paine flipped the sword on its flat side and heard a loud _thonk_! Quickly, the silverette turned on her heels, a bit flushed before coughing. "You're lucky I train." A whimper was her only response.

* * *

><p>With her arm over her eyes, she lay sprawled out atop her bed. A towel was beneath her head, soaking up the wetness within her hair. Her clothing had changed, still black, yet she sported a black tanktop and flannel bottoms. The tanktop was tight against her body, revealing the sinewy layers of muscles rippling beneath her skin. They were taut, fitting of her nature.<p>

If she was a dog, her ears would have twitched at Rikku's entrance. The stealthy thief made no attempt to quiet herself. A sigh escaped Paine. There was no escaping her companion. The bed dipped at the addition of new weight. Paine's arm remained positioned over her eyes, even as Rikku spoke.

"…I shouldn't have done what I did, Paine."

Her tone made Paine remove her arm and turn her head. Silver caressed her angular face as she glanced at the Al Bhed. She looked peaceful, less fierce when it was gelled upwards. It was a given that she slightly the same however, due to the unfortunate hair cut. Crimson hid beneath eyelashes and revealed themselves once more. She remembered the Hypello chasing the Shoopuf from earlier as she imagined one apologizing to the other, the smaller to the bigger.

"What are you talking about?" Yet, Paine knew. Her heart fluttered in her chest unbearably. She did not want to talk about this. This was something that never happened. It was a silent, mutual agreement. It never happened.

It _did_ happen though, despite Paine's urgings. Her eyes narrowed at Rikku, yet she knew if she could, she'd be glaring at herself.

"You know what I'm talking about Paine." Rikku's body language was distant: her legs were pressed together in a timid way, her head was bowed as she stared at the ground, emerald eyes swirled into a galaxy away from Spira, her lips were slightly parted as she sipped her breaths.

Rikku was rigid and afraid of Paine's reaction.

The warrior sat up, reached for the towel and stood to walk away. Her heartbeat had reached to a point in which it was a struggle to breath. It hurt. She did not want to acknowledge this. It never happened, why address it?

"Don't run away from me Paine!" The silverette's pale wrist was trapped by the Al Bhed's hand. She was cuffed in her grip.

A glare was thrown towards Rikku, but emerald jewels dared Paine to pull away. The shimmering of tears had become evident, but the shaking thief did not allow them to fall. Her chin was held up in defiance that Paine was not accustomed to. The warrior growled and accepted the challenge posed by the thief. Their energies clashed as Rikku's gripped tightened and Paine attempted to pull away. Steely glares began to die, however, as the blonde woman stood.

Muscles tensed within the warrior as the thief fell forward, into Paine's arms. Arms encircled her waist sealing her in captivity of Rikku's hold. Shuddering muscles brushed against her which melted away her anger. The warrior was used to this already, used to Rikku's unwavering strength.

She needed this just as bad.

Pale hands reached into golden braids and gripped roughly as the Al Bhed's head whipped backward. Tears slipped from their well and caused her emeralds to shimmer. Crimson eyes hungrily drunk in her image, feeling a sense of superiority empower the warrior.

Her mind screamed to release the thief, to slay the moment. Emotions pointed out the way Rikku stared longingly. They both needed relief. Warmth. An outlet to drain their loneliness.

Paine finally jerked away and stormed towards the bathroom.

Before she had the chance to complete her escape, Rikku lunged forward, tugged Paine to face her with blinding intensity and slammed their bodies onto the floor as lips reunited. Paine's wrists were cuffed once more by the thief as she pinned the warrior. Having lost her senses, Paine wallowed in the growing desire forming in her chest. A part of her scolded her wanting, mocked her weakness. The other tempted her with lewd images, sparking her imagination as her shield came crashing down.

As they broke away, Paine did not allow Rikku or herself to regret, only to move to quicken the pace and collided their lips once more in a fiery passion, emitting a wanton moan.

Their loneliness was temporarily cured.

* * *

><p><em>I was semi-content with this after editing and reading it over about 4 different times. But their relationship has such a complex dynamic that I wanted to convey it just right. The next will have a warning. <em>


	6. Insecurity

**Author's Note**: _I figured I would update on Thanksgiving because I am running on four hours of sleep. Long story. I threw in things that I felt were more Spira-ish, such as moogle doll is teddy bear, and gysahl-cakes are pancakes. Hero drink would be akin to orange juice or apple juice in this case. _

_I wanted to make sure this relationship took its time, but with impending drama, I'm sure we'll see how it ends :D Hopefully I have time again to start up the next chapter. But thank you for reading and enjoy. _

* * *

><p>Paine threw her head back into the pillow behind her, her hands gripping on Rikku's hips as she moved suggestively. Underneath her guise, the warrior didn't mind giving the reins to a woman who wanted the power. She allowed Rikku to take charge of their situation, who found it seductive to pin down and tease the warrior into submission. Licks, sucks and nips caused blood to boil, arousal to flare and eventually lead to a whimpering warrior begging for mercy.<p>

Stars danced before the thief's eyes as she felt climax after climax claim her, her body unrelenting in its journey to satiate their needs. Wetness had gathered between her thighs as she rubbed herself atop the warrior. Pleasure shot through her body, shocked her nerves into wanton spasms and took the reins over her voice box. The thief's moans were hoarse and belittling into whimpers as the thief took advantage of everything she had: Paine.

Rikku's tanned skin glistened beneath the moonlight, a light sheen of sweat covering her gorgeous body. Hips pumped harder, bouncing and grinding just to feel that spark, that sensation against her core.

She was almost there.

Once the tidal wave crashed against her shore, it fell and ebbed away into a slight, pleasurable pulse. Panting could be heard within the cabin of the Celsius. Red eyes revealed themselves momentarily to meet emerald swirls lost in their own bout of ecstasy.

Leaning forward, the Al Bhed made to kiss those red lips until she noticed something. Paine smiled devilishly. Her lover threw her onto her back, crushing her chest with the force of her weight.

"It was fun and all, but no one really wants you."

Rikku opened her mouth to protest before she saw fangs rip through gums and felt the pain pierce her throat. Another prey fallen to a predator.

* * *

><p>"Rikku, wake up."<p>

The blonde's eyes opened uneasily to find Paine staring down at her, her brows knit into worry. Sweat coated her body, feeling the chill of her fear and arousal from the dream. Warm hands removed themselves from her shoulders as she sat up. Her face felt hot, finding that she couldn't remember much of last night…and why Paine was lying inher pajamas in _her_ bed.

Rikku stared at Paine, trying to jog her memory. The smile on the warrior's lips made her queasy.

"Nothing happened last night." Paine raised an eyebrow, as if silently asking Rikku if that was what she wanted to hear. Running her hand through her hair, she placed the other on Rikku's hand to squeeze it. Crimson eyes never met green. "You fainted last night after I bit your neck. I don't think you play rough."

This made the Al Bhed laugh nervously, which grew louder and louder into an all out, abdomen-crushing, oxygen-depriving laugh. Paine decided to join in half-way, both finding the situation a bit embarrassing that they were unable to really satisfy themselves. However, they were back to their old relationship, where they could laugh and stand to sit in the same room together without feeling awkward.

Last night, both individuals had decided that they would feed into their desires, a cure to loneliness. The movements had become frantic, but Rikku felt lightheaded at the motions, at the heated temperature of their making out, at the intensity of their actions. It was when Paine bit at her neck that Rikku couldn't take the onslaught of feelings anymore. Caught off guard, Paine decided to smile to herself in bitterness at the pent-up frustration. Carrying the thief, the warrior suddenly became too tired to remove herself. Paine decided to brush the blonde hair away from the girl's face and found herself passed out in her bed. She didn't regret it.

It wasn't until Rikku's wild moaning that she woke up worried.

"So, bad dream?"

The thief swallowed at the question. It was more than a bad dream, it about summed up her insecurity. Surprising, this must be how Paine felt when she kissed her. Probably still felt this way.

With a shrug, Rikku chose to smile instead, willing away the images from the dream and forced herself to stop thinking about the message behind it. "Yeah, but it's not like I haven't had a bad dream before. Thanks for bringing me out of it."

Paine smiled back, faintly. It was clear between the two that there was an attraction. However, the warrior wouldn't risk another night like that again. Patting the Al Bhed's knee, she rose and padded her feet down the stairs to swing herself over the bar and prepare breakfast.

Rikku looked up and noticed that the sun had not risen just yet. She guessed that it was early in the morning, between three or four, hardly approaching dawn. With a tired sigh, she rested her head back into the pillow. She continued to keep her head rested on the pillow as she stared at the ceiling. The usually chipper Al Bhed was more than happy to know that she could truly trust Paine to protect her, even if Rikku, herself, failed to handle situations like last night. Her arm came over her eyes as she groaned…until she smelled gysahl-cakes. Braids rustled as Rikku rose from her bed and wandered to the bottom level where Paine was located, serving up a plate of gysahl-cakes and hero drink.

The blonde squealed much to Paine's delight and she dug right into her extremely-early-morning meal. The warrior brought her finger to her lips in a "shush." Rikku happily obliged as she forgot about the rest of the world, solely focused on her beloved cakes. Paine decided to eat her own breakfast, and as she did the warrior noticed sleep regain her body.

"Ready to go back to sleep? Brother better not have anything planned today, or he's going to be in a world of hurt."

Rikku offered a lazy smile at that comment. The blonde hopped over the counter to wash her own dish, while Paine contemplated a thousand ways to hurt her older brother. She had not yet told the man how she felt, and she didn't feel the overwhelming urge to do so. Sometimes they tore at each other's throats, but Brother _was_ her older brother. They had a bond by being siblings. Yet, for now, she would do this on her own—with Paine.

The adventurers returned to the second floor. Paine was about to return to her bed until she noticed a whimper from the younger girl. Glancing over, she saw Rikku stare at her, refusing to crawl under the covers of her own bed. A faint smile graced her lips as she quickly went through her options.

Paine could just growl and say no. She could allow Rikku to reluctantly crawl into her bed. Or Paine could be nice for once and happily allow Rikku to sleep with her.

She scoffed, "What, you need a moogle doll?

The warrior would never become a happy sap.

Rikku whined at that, "Why you gotta be all grumpy?" She was actually surprised by her friend's comment. After what happened the night before, you'd think Paine wouldn't have a problem being civil with her! She silently fumed as she judged Paine's body language.

The silverette smirked before finally crawling into her bed. "I wonder…"

"Dr. P…" Rikku growled Paine's nickname, hoping to anger her. And she was successful.

"Stop that."

"Dr. P," she practically whined. Paine rubbed her hand over her face, and then ran it through her hair once more. She licked her lips before glancing back at Rikku, an eyebrow craned.

"You're in for a world of hurt, you know that?" However, her actions belied her statement. The pale woman reached down and pulled the covers up in a motion for Rikku to join. She received a pleased squeal.

Rikku decided that it was better to be with Paine than without. Not after the dream that she had. It was pleasant to an extent, yet it said much about how she felt. If this was how the thief was feeling, she wondered how the warrior handled being put into a position that could benefit or make her regret everything they had together. Paine probably felt the most insecure, she reasoned. Looking up at Paine, she hesitated in her next move. Paine figured it out for her and gently pet the top of her head. The small caress nearly melted away all of her fears. Smiling, the Al Bhed settled against the warrior. The lithe little thief would have to trust Paine to guide her in the right direction.

After finding a position to Rikku's liking, draped over Paine much to _her_ discomfort, the pair snoozed until the late morning.

* * *

><p>"GULLWINGS! Nabund du dra pnetka nekrd huf!"<p>

Paine stormed through and immediately reached for Brother once she prepared for the day after the rude awakening. His no good, high-pitched squawk made her fall out of her own bed! Rikku did not know whether to laugh at the woman or make a run for it. Luckily, she had rolled onto the side of Paine sometime in their sleep to avoid tumbling with her.

Buddy and Shinra watched in horror as the warrior flung herself at the crazed man as Rikku appeared seconds later—seconds too late.

"Kad uvv uv sa, oui tasuh!" The tattooed man continued to squawk in anger and in fear. Paine had not been this mad for almost a month!

"Syopa oui cruimth'd oamm yhosuna, Brother," Rikku mumbled, unsure if she should join in. The pair wrestled around some more until Brother hollered.

"I surrender!" His voice was shrilly as usual when he faced against Paine. Now he was sporting many new bruises.

"That'll teach you a lesson!" The warrior huffed, seething at the man before her. His stupid overalls, his stupid mohawk, his stupid tattoo! Boots stomped away towards the railing as Paine regained her senses. Buddy and Shinra glanced at each other, refusing to go near Brother.

Said man was moaning and writhing in pain on the metal floor as Rikku continued to stare down at him. "I thought you were a leader."

"I am!" His voice was full of conviction and still expressed how much pain he was in. His sister rolled her eyes, crossing her arms and putting weight onto one hip, tempted to chew on her scarf to avoid kicking him herself.

She sucked her teeth before offering another direction of conversation. "What did you call us in for?"

"Yuna needs help," Shinra offered. His Al Bhed gear muffled his voice and Rikku begged that she heard wrong. The warrior behind her glanced over at the boy and pleaded for the same.

"What?"

Brother moaned as Buddy answered this time. "Yuna called us in and said that she needed help. Something happened to her at Besaid."

The Gullwings glanced at each other and slowly turned their gazes towards the steel ground.

Rikku's heart began to pump erratically within her small chest. The warrior did not have much of a reaction but worry for Rikku, though it never showed on her face. Rikku's eyebrows were knit in a mixture of confusion and uncertainty. Everyone knew that Rikku was avoiding Yuna, but the men figured that she was being Rikku in her immaturity. No one knew how far her feelings went for Yuna, no one but Paine understood.

Speaking of Paine, Rikku wondered how Paine would judge her decision. If she refused to go, then last night meant nothing. That was too painful to bear because the thief certainly loved to want nothing more than absolute release from Yunie. If she accepted, she wondered if Paine would find her too eager. The blonde bit her bottom lip, finding herself without direction.

Paine did not hesitate to answer.

"So when are we leaving?"

The men seemed to release sighs of relief as each returned to their stations, Brother having serious trouble. It made her smile inwardly.

"Right now."

The warrior nodded and disappeared into the hall towards the elevators. White and blue boots stomped behind her, the thief making no effort to silence her movements.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to help a friend."

"I told you I didn't want to see her…"

"I figured as much," was the answer. Paine turned around, her silver hair needing to be combed with her fingers once more. The warrior was unsure of how to feel about Rikku's words. Some of it stung, the other side of her told her she didn't really care, that she already knew the answer. Hearing the words, however, surprised her.

Rikku felt a warmth envelope her hand as Paine grasped it. She figured that she would never get over Paine's softness; she figured that Paine wore the gloves to hide callous wounds from her sword, but rather, it was far from it.

The silverette never looked up, her crimson eyes locking the ground into a staring contest. Rikku sighed; she knew she had to face Yunie. Another side of her scolded her inkling reasons to back out. Gritting her teeth, Rikku came up with a decision.

"I'm following your lead."

The warrior looked up, taken aback by the admission. Paine half-expected Rikku to withdraw herself from the situation. She offered a half-smile. She could say she was proud of Rikku.

"Sure you wanna dance this round?"

"I have to face the music sometime."

Insecurities be damned, the Gullwings had a friend to help.

* * *

><p><em>Translation<em>s:

**Brother: **Gullwings! Report to the bridge right now!

**Brother: **Get off of me, you demon!

**Rikku: **Maybe you shouldn't yell anymore, Brother.


	7. Preparation

**Author's Note: **_Not going to lie, this one and the next chapter will probably be the shortest ones yet. I was reading random Larxene x Namine and Claire x fics, when I decided that I was going crazy at the lack of fanfiction going on. So, I decided to continue writing this. :D _

_Hopefully I will get the next one out within the next few weeks. I'm mad at myself for not revealing Yuna's "problem." OTL_

_Enjoy._

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><p>Jumping out first, Paine landed hard onto the sand of Besaid. Following her was Rikku, landing in a catlike manner beside the warrior. Hopping back up, she glanced at Paine who seemed to growl at her gracefulness when it came to jumping. Rikku giggled and followed after the silverette.<p>

Rikku felt her heart race within her chest, unsure if it was due to eagerness or an overwhelming sadness. However, a part of her seemed relaxed because of Paine's presence, which seemed to make it all just a bit bearable. Without the warrior, she would have never agreed to visiting Yuna and listening to her troubles. The Al Bhed began to wonder about Yuna; after all, what exactly did she need?

"You okay?"

Startled out of her thoughts, Rikku stared up to meet emotionless eyes. The blonde questioned that silently, but merely nodded and explained, "Yeah. I'm just wondering what kind of problem Yunie has that she needed to call us. It makes me a bit worried; I mean… Yunie can do anything, can't she? It gives me chills…"

Paine nodded in understanding. She felt the same. Yuna was a strong woman, based on their adventures together. Having heard stories about Yuna during her pilgrimage, Paine doubted that much could take on the gunner. Sighing, the warrior walked on with her companion, who was silent until they reached the small village.

"Hello, you two." Ebony braids rustled together as buckles clicked and clanked. Light purple lips curved up into a soft smile, as glinting red eyes meet the Gullwings.

"Lulu!" Rikku raced forward to happily embrace the older woman, unabashed by nuzzling into her cleavage. Lulu offered a light laugh as Rikku finally took a step back. Paine approached without a smile, not entirely sure on where she stood with Lulu. She offered a wave instead.

"I see you've cut your hair and lost your gloves?" The older woman seemed to smirk so as to lighten Paine's mood, noticing her lack of emotion.

Paine scoffed and waved her hand to dismiss the comment, "It happens."

"Where's Vidina?"

Lulu smiled at Rikku and nodded towards the hut that she stared with Wakka. "He's in his father's arms taking a nap. Both of them." This caused Rikku to giggle, which made Lulu smile in response.

"And Yuna?" Paine wanted to see her immediately. It puzzled the warrior to know that Yuna needed help when she had close friends surrounding her, especially former guardians.

Rikku seemed to sober from her good-natured mirth and stared at the ground instead, suddenly finding it fascinating. The mage glanced towards the Yuna's home and then returned her gaze towards the pair.

"She's home alone. I believe Tidus left to play blitzball with the Aurochs."

Gazes met and neither Paine nor Lulu backed down. "What _help_ does she need?" The silverette was unsure of Yuna's motives, perhaps only wanting to see the pair when she knew that they were avoiding her. Maybe Lulu didn't know why they had been summoned, Paine considered. There was no other way to find out than to ask.

"I believe she'll tell you." The mage cast her gaze upon Rikku, uncertain of her state. The blonde continued to shuffle uncomfortably and look anywhere but towards Yuna's house. "Rikku, she may need you the most right now."

Upon hearing her name, the blonde glanced upward and offered a fake smile and brought a fist up, fueled by false courage. "No problem, Lulu, we'll handle it!"

Lulu did not respond to Rikku's insincerity, and merely glanced at Paine instead. "She'll need you, too."

"I figured."

Lulu bid them farewell as she returned to her home and the pair started towards Yuna's hut. Rikku swallowed hard and inhaled deeply before cautiously reaching for Paine's hand. The warrior would provide her with a strength that she didn't have. Now would decide whether or not Rikku had finally mended herself. It would decide whether or not Rikku could finally offer herself to Paine.

The silverette felt the warmth from Rikku's hand and did not hesitate to hold it and squeeze it tightly in assurance. "Ready for this?" Her heart hammered in her chest as she awaited the answer, refusing to look at Rikku.

"If I'm with you, yeah."

Paine smiled to herself, relieved, and pulled back the curtain-door.


	8. Surprises

**_Author's Note: _**_I can't say I know why it took so long. But I guess I have to give KathleenDee credit, because of her fanfiction Crimson and Clover. She inspires me. Funny story actually. Anyways, I'm working out Yuna's fears in the next chapter, but I felt this would be the most appropriate for the story line. _

_My muse has returned to me, therefore the next chapter is within days._

* * *

><p>Inside the hut, Yuna was clad in just a bra and a skirt, rubbing her shoulder in a mirror. Paine noticed her and Rikku forced herself to look away, coughing loudly to alert their presence.<p>

Yuna's blue and green eyes leveled with Paine's in the mirror. The warrior figured that Yuna had been crying for a while because they were puffy. Beside her, Rikku continued to shuffle and Yuna seemed to ignore that.

Paine raised a brow.

"Thank you two for coming…" Yuna's fingers ghosted down her body before turning to her bed and dressing herself in a white shirt. It was similar to what she wore during her pilgrimage as a summoner. It made Tidus feel nostalgic in some ways, as though he had truly returned to the woman who captured his heart.

This brought a slight pang to Rikku who seemed fascinated with the patterns of the small rug just before their bed. Paine was the first to move towards the sitting area, her warm hand gently grasping onto Rikku's arm and taking her along. The little thief made no noise, and silently obeyed.

Paine had to think about her emotions. How she felt about Rikku's reaction. Did she expect this? _Yes._ Did you think it would hurt this much. _Definitely not._ That was all the time she needed for an assessment before her monotonous voice turned into caution, speaking rather slowly, "When we heard you were in trouble, what else were we to do?"

Rikku offered a slight nod, though Yuna hadn't seen it.

The brunette continued to stare at herself in the mirror, staring at her shoulders and realizing that they were very small. The different colored eyes traveled to her waist and tears seemed to irritate the corners of her eyes once again, forcing her to rub at them.

Rikku finally glanced at her, finding that Yuna's silence was making her nervous. Slowly, her own tension began to ebb away and developed into a new one. What was Yuna's problem?

Crimson eyes flickered between the two until they held an emerald gaze. _What's going on?_ After having been together for over a year, Paine and Rikku had adjusted to speaking with merely their eyes, their body language. They could read Yuna's very blatantly. Yet, it was like watching a foreign movie without the subtitles. You could tell something was wrong, just not what it was.

Surprisingly, it was Rikku who spoke, beating Paine, whose lips were forming a comment. "Yunie…Come sit with us." Her voice sounded fragile, as though she was the one with the problem. Rikku wouldn't be able to handle this all by herself. Yuna was her cousin, and practically a sister, but someone she misplaced adoration for love and lust. The thought made her feel ashamed as she glanced at the ground.

Paine merely stared at Rikku, hard. Was she going to say anything else? Did she need to take the lead? She opened her mouth, and repeated the request.

Yuna finally stared at herself once more before bowing her head, emitting a sigh of…resignation? Paine cocked her head to one side as she continued to analyze Yuna's condition. She was healthy looking…She only had red eyes, which indicated crying. Wakka and Lulu were still around. Kihmari was alive and well. Was there anyone that she was missing? No. No one.

Rikku felt panic rise within her. Yuna's aura just felt so distraught. Lost. It made Rikku feel lost, a ship out at sea with only a very faint flicker of a lighthouse. That was Paine. She looked to the warrior, feeling helpless and small as she was.

Paine cleared her throat once Yuna sat down, her face within her hands.

"Yuna."

"Just give me a moment." Yuna sounded a little ragged, defeated almost. Her words were muffled behind her hands. Finally, she wiped them down her face and stared between Rikku and Paine, who focused solely on her and not their own emotions.

"Tidus and I…"

"Don't say you're divorcing," Rikku blurted out. Paine and Yuna stared at the blonde, speechless and puzzled at her words. The Al Bhed stared between the two and put her hands up defensively, "What else would make you cry?" Rikku returned her focus to Yuna, with Paine fighting the urge to chuckle. Rikku was something.

A ghost of a smile appeared on Yuna's face, before disappearing. A frown replaced the expression, hard and set. Paine leaned forward, glancing at Rikku and prompting her to do the same once she reached out and grabbed Yuna's hand. Rikku's grasped the other.

"Yuna?" Paine ventured, hoping that Yuna would just come out and say it.

The brunette took a shuddering breath. The young woman who brought the Eternal Calm, who helped defeat Vegnagun, a woman who embodied strength and willpower…was fighting a battle she wished came later in life.

She finally broke into another sob, emotions overriding her.

"Rikku…Paine…I'm pregnant."

The two were frozen into shock.


	9. Strength

_**Author's Note: **I told you my muse was back. :3 So, this was hard to write. I would appreciate some criticism or something. Hopefully I can get the next part out soon. :3 Enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"<em>Cause a thousand words…"<em> Rikku ran forward, slicing through the makeshift punching bag that Shinra helped create for the little thief. The only thing was, it repaired itself. Almost like a living organism. Rikku wished that it really was a living organism as she panted, sweated and hummed to herself.

In the engine room, Rikku was in her own element, drowning out reality as she continued to take out her mixed emotions on the poor punching bag. "Ha! …Hya!...Suspended…On….Huff, silver wings!" With about three kicks into the side of it, she twirled into the air and came down hard, ripping through the bag and slamming her daggers into the metal floor. _Brother isn't going to like hearing about this one!_

About a month ago, Yuna had broken the news about her pregnancy. Her worries. Her fears of being so young. After all, women in Spira, especially women who were young in Besaid, never had the best of luck with pregnancies. Lack of phenomenal knowledge and technology in health prevent healthy pregnancies after all. Spira was amazing with machina, but the human body was different in itself, and most did not educate themselves in health anyways. Because of Sin, the focus was on the trade of a family and survival. During the Eternal Calm, before the eruption of peace by Vegnagun and Shuyin, Spira dueled between the leagues, focusing on weapons.

Education caught no one's attention if it didn't focus on some war of a sort.

Yuna was sobbing as she explained, but all Rikku could hear was _"I'm pregnant." _Paine was caught off guard, entirely dumbfounded. A part of her still maintained her instinct to protect however, and that's when she saw the tears in Rikku's eyes.

There was no future for them after this.

Now Rikku was distancing herself from not only Yuna, but from Paine as well, spending her days in the engine room, or in Luca, shopping and training nonstop. Occasionally bringing Buddy along, only because he never overstepped the fine boundary that Rikku seemed to set up around herself.

She started to sleep long after Paine retired to her bed, if only to avoid her. Sometimes it worked, other times Paine seemed to eyeball her, with a look of… what? Rikku couldn't place it, and she knew that she had hurt Paine, though the warrior would never admit it. Would never admit to being so vulnerable if for only a second to allow Rikku to wriggle her way into her heart.

However, Rikku found herself in a place where she was forced to permanently detach her feelings for Yuna, still so crushed by the news and angry at Tidus for numerous reasons. For taking her away, for being the object of her love, for causing this fear. For being a man. She felt so childish and selfish, but what else was Rikku supposed to do? Smile and continue being insincere? The Al Bhed had been growing, despite her child-like demeanor. She knew it was best to isolate herself instead of trying to hide feelings she knew would never have the time to heal.

She loved Yuna dearly, which was another reason she was doing this to herself and to Paine. She needed to be strong for Yuna. The second reason was so that she could find stability, enough to make it worthwhile for Paine.

Rikku was going to be an auntie soon, because that's how everyone would expect it to be. The usually bouncy blonde was beyond scared and angry and just…in a mess.

Slowly, Rikku see-sawed the dagger out of its lodge until she heard soft breathing behind her.

Damn.

Before her was a gorgeous woman, who made her stomach flip-flop in both anxiety and happiness. Paine never expressed it in words, or in her actions, but everything she felt was in her eyes. Since Rikku fled from the hut, Paine decided to take on the role of a caring friend, when Rikku was too weak to be just that. A friend, despite her blood ties and adventures with Yuna.

For the duration of the month, she had become friendly with Lulu in caring for Yuna, even though Paine had no knowledge of being pregnant. Lulu was filled with knowledge, but she was also older than Yuna and had been with Wakka longer than Yuna had been with Tidus.

Wakka was also wiser than the blonde blitzer, who, as Paine found out, had been staying away from home to blitz more often than normal. He was training. His life was aimed for stardom, where Yuna already walked down that path of being a celebrity of sorts.

They seemed too young, and Yuna was already packing too much baggage to be bearing a child. The adventures made her mind age, but definitely not her body. It was still prone to mishaps, and nothing guaranteed a healthy baby. Nothing guaranteed a peaceful era; Vegnagun proved that.

Paine merely stared at Rikku, who still managed to take her breath away. Sweat dripped from her braids, due to the humidity of the engine room and the workout. She'd witnessed the intensity of her movements, how she fluidly attacked the bag. It caused a strong pang to ache within Paine, a sense of longing for a woman who still had her own emotions to sort through.

How fun was that?

Paine stayed when Yuna began to cry harder at Rikku fleeing. The silverette dismissed it as fear, the same reason that Yuna was crying. "Rikku loves you, Yuna," she had explained, knowing the brunette would never know the true meaning. "She worries for you just like the rest of us. She looks up to you, always has. If you're not strong, she can't be strong. She needs us, too. When she sees a glimmer of hope, she'll outshine our strength. That's always been our Rikku."

It was true. Rikku wasn't weak by any means; she had deep insight into things. But that blurred the second romance made an entrance. Paine knew the feeling. Every day, she would visit Yuna, who felt hollow by Rikku's absence. Countless times, she had asked for her. Every time, Paine said that she didn't want to return until she was of some help.

Paine didn't really know if that was true, because the day of the announcement, Rikku stopped talking to her. No more early breakfasts, trainings, or even a small conversation right before sleep. Now she tinkered with machina, trained by herself, or went shopping with _Buddy_. She scowled at the sense of jealousy she continued to feel time and time again. At the overwhelming sense of disappointment she felt when she knew that Rikku never really let go of Yuna.

However, despite it all, Paine was loyal, it was her nature as a warrior. She said that she would be there, and she was. Even if Rikku didn't want that devotion, Paine had already given it.

Emerald eyes stayed locked on crimson for a long time before she whispered, "How long have you been there?"

Paine glanced away, almost in shame for raking her gaze across Rikku. Even now she couldn't control the emotions she needed to keep in check. When Yuna needed her, she tended to her needs. When Rikku struggled with her own emotions, Paine ignored everything she felt within. But it grew and grew, and now it felt like it was going to burst and bubble over in anger and hurt and longing. She finally decided to give into it. Who was she kidding anyways? The walls weren't up all the way from the beginning, and, because of that, she allowed the emotions for Rikku to fester into a horrible infection.

Except, Rikku was the only remedy.

"About ten minutes or so."

Rikku stared at the punching bag, noticing how still it had become once her aggression had eased. It was as if it knew there would be no more afflictions by Rikku, so it died. Interesting. Shinra really was a genius, despite being a kid. The Al Bhed took a step forward, releasing her daggers from her hands and placing them beside the bag, against the wall. Suddenly she couldn't breathe as she felt hungry eyes on her.

"Yes?"

"Why are you staying away from me?" Rikku knew that this was going to happen sometime soon. Why? She was close. Close to accepting everything for what it was. What did Paine want her to do? Wholeheartedly embrace her? Quickly, she shrugged away those accusing thoughts; Paine would never want Rikku to force herself into any situation. Paine wasn't greedy like that. She was. Rikku had only just started seeing Yuna as a friend, someone she had a passing affection for.

That was normal right?

She related it to when she was with Gippal. That passed after a while, and they still remained as friends. Despite the most recent hiccup with him, but she doubted they remembered much of that night anyways. She could be like that with Yuna, and it was possible.

Paine made it seem impossible though. Because Paine suddenly became the rebound. She felt it. She felt it in those eyes. Rikku couldn't live with that, could not live with having Paine feel as though she was just settling for her.

Rikku wanted to be strong enough so Paine knew that she was choosing her when she was stable.

Which is why she continued to avoid her. To clear her thoughts and mind.

"I need time, Paine."

"You're never going to let her go, are you?" Did Rikku hear that right? That hint of hurt? Of anger? Well it was fair if that's how Paine felt, wasn't it? After all, Rikku was the cause of it. She wasn't strong enough because she was wounded by something she felt was surreal herself. The blonde stared at the ground, not wanting to face Paine. She suddenly felt ashamed at not being stronger, at having become so vulnerable.

She wished to be like Paine.

"Are you?" The silverette raised her voice, feeling herself tremble. Why didn't she apply some sort of balm to the situation a while back? Why did she allow the kisses and the hunger to grow? Now look where that got her. The warrior was losing a very fine grip that continued to vanish as the month bore on. She lost one of her best friends after already losing Yuna. Solitude suddenly became unappealing once she lost two important people she'd grown attached to.

Damned attachments did this to a person. Hurt.

"I'm doing this for you!" Rikku quickly became defensive. Paine only raised her voice in battle, when ordering, when taking the lead. Hardly ever in anger unless it was severe. She glanced at the daggers for a moment, judging the situation. She'd never seen Paine look so hurt before, and rarely did she ever expose her emotions, so how did she act when something became overwhelming?

"Don't give me that crap, Rikku." Paine felt herself slipping.

"You act like I don't care about you, Paine."

"You don't show it." Ouch. That one got her. Rikku glared something fierce at the warrior, who never wavered. She was angry, and armed with words. Rikku wasn't going to take that after she had considered Paine's involvement. After all, wasn't she forcing herself to become a better friend only to allow the time and room in her heart to give to Paine? For Paine to make a home for herself within her. Without inhibitions. Without doubts whether or not Rikku was thinking of Yuna instead of Paine.

"If I have time—"A growl seemed to rip through Paine as she stomped forward, halting Rikky's lousy defense.

"Time?"

Rikku took a step back, bringing her arms up in order to push back Paine if she needed. Yet, when she felt the hands grip her face, all resolve seemed to melt away. She choked up, unable to answer. She couldn't answer. Not when Paine slammed her against the engine room wall and pressed her lips roughly against hers. It felt hungry, angry, and a sense of finality came along with it.

Is that what Paine was trying to tell her? _Say goodbye to my feelings, Rikku, you blew it._ Rikku's words were muffled as she tried to speak, only to feel Paine's tongue slip in to meet her own. Instead of a simple and stern "Paine," her words were warped into a moaning of the name. A new wave of heat washed over Rikku. Paine could be greedy, if she wanted. Rikku would indulge in her needs.

She was selfish after all. She had hurt the woman pressing tightly against her. She caused her a new feel of loneliness she hadn't anticipated.

Paine was making her realize how much she wanted this. But she needed to purge away the emotions she felt for Yuna.

Rikku finally pushed away Paine, who stared at her with more than all of Spira's agony combined. Rikku felt warmth at the corners of her eyes. Her expression was soft, as she reached for Paine's face, cupping her cheeks roughly and bringing her into another kiss, more gently, softly leaning into her body, reveling in the feel of contact. Emotions were blooming; a newfound strength was struggling to hatch within the Al Bhed.

But these feelings were so damned hard to get rid of and sort out.

"I need time. To stop thinking about Yuna. To think about you. Only you. I'm a person realizing that I love two of my best friends the way that I shouldn't. I'm working through this, and the fact that Yunie could be facing a possible danger. The fact that they aren't ready. I love her. I love you because you've always had my back. You've been my best friend, Paine, and I'm so afraid of losing everything at once." None of the tears spilled. Perhaps Rikku was just too tired.

Paine's eyes began to soften. The warrior began to grasp at her strength again, the wall that was holding her up. She could understand that. The crazy swirl of emotions began to shrink back to their individual departments. Calm wafted over her. Rikku was trying; Paine needed to continue being patient.

It was so hard.

Being lonely for too long, she realized, began to have its repercussions when company was so close. "Just talk to me again."

Rikku began to realize how badly her strategy had begun to affect Paine. She could only imagine the effect on Yuna, and instantly she wanted to kick herself. She had to be strong, stop being selfish, and learn to help others in need. Being the youngest didn't always mean being the weakest. Her feelings for Yuna remained, but after time, they would die and make room for something else to blossom.

Paine leaned her forehead against Rikku's when the Al Bhed wrapped her arms around the warrior's waist. Did it really take her so long to see the damage she was causing? She was supposed to be crafty and cunning and smart. All she was really showing was that she was a coward and ran with her tail between her legs. Her eyes closed as she embellished in the warmth of Paine, in her contact and closeness. She needed this. She wanted this so badly. But if anyone had learned self-restraint it was Rikku.

Paine deserved better.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too."

"But I've been selfish."

"I think we all have." Paine smiled down at Rikku, reaching for her hands and squeezing them. Rikku offered a small smile, feeling a sense of confidence sprouting within her. She could do this. For Paine, she could.

"I'll talk to you again."

"Good, I was getting really lonely." This caused the thief to giggle and glance back at her daggers. "Do you need to eat?"

Rikku blinked and returned her gaze back to Paine, whose eyes seemed unreadable now. That was more like Paine, and it comforted her, seeing that her eyes were no longer windows to her emotions.

"Do you think Yunie is making food?" Paine stared hard at Rikku, at emerald eyes that swirled forever into an abyss of strength that Rikku had no idea she held.

It just took the right situation for the airhead to realize that.

"We should check."

Rikku hesitated. She still had time to back out. It had been a month, what would another do? She was leading Paine into another mess, seeing those walls coming back down to keep her vulnerable all over again.

"Rikku?"

"Let's go check." Rikku was a Gullwing, and needed to start owning that title. It would start with Yuna first.

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><p><em>I wanted Paine to seem a little crazed, a little out of character. She's <em>so _lonely. Rikku was difficult as well, because she's not stupid or weak, but love affects us all differently. __Any comments are more than welcomed. _


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